I'm feeling particularly insane today

My dearest Lucas. My handsome, shoulder-to-cry-on, feminist, lovely, funny, dearest Lucas is making me feel a little bit insane today. Actually he has been for the last three days.

(here's some proof of just how cute he is)

Not insane like the psych patient who showed up at Violet Turner's house and cut a baby out of her stomach in an episode of Private Practice I watched today insane. Not insane like I'm going to punch him or passive aggressively wait for him to ask me what's wrong insane. But insane like insanity insane.

He made me start doing insanity.

You know, with Shaun T. The stupid, stupid 60-day workout program that is made for olympians or marathon runners or athletes who enjoy torturing themselves daily.

Well, he didn't make me start doing insanity. We decided to.

Neither of us are taking super intensive interim classes, and we decided that we should do something that stopped us from sitting around all day watching 10 hours of Netflix/playing video games. Or at least something that made us feel less bad about sitting around [mostly] all day and watching 10 hours of Netflix/playing video games.

And it is making me feel like Nick Miller trying to do a burpee:

My quads hurt. My hamstrings hurt. My joints hurt. My lungs hurt.

It is not very fun.

Luke says it is supposed to be fun. He told me, while I was freaking out after day one, that I don't really exercise for fun. At first I thought he was crazy. I exercised a lot in high school. We hike together all the time. I went to a few of Augie's fitness classes--I mean, it was mainly freshman year when I was trying to make friends, but I went! But, as he pointed out, I've always had a reason for exercise. I didn't do it for fun in high school, but rather I did it for competition.

I am not as fit as Luke, and I am not as fit as the people doing insanity in the video, and I am certainly not as fit as Shaun T who keeps telling me to push harder and harder. I can not compete with them. But that does not mean I shouldn't compete with myself; that does not mean I shouldn't try to make myself better.

So, I am going to try exercising for fun. Not hike-around-a-mountain/go-ice-skating-for-an-hour/taking-a-cute-dog-for-a-walk exercising for fun, but sweat-to-the-point-of-discomfort/jog-in-place-in-my-living-room-like-an-idiot/try-not-to-throw-up-the-chicken-alfredo-I-had-for-supper-because-my-body-is-not-conditioned exercising for fun. And I want it to be fun. It doesn't sound very fun. But I want it to be. Because I want to be healthy.

I'm going to try to have fun. For now, however, forgive me if I act a little bit insane.

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